How to Get Out of Your Head
This is an example of drawing lessons of mastery from one practice and applying it to another.
In acting, being connected with emotions and the assigned text is key to powerful performances. The idea of “getting out of the head” is important because overthinking with the head leads to self-consciousness, freezing, and forgetting lines.
This ability isn’t just important to acting, though. The ability to get out of your head is also necessary for other kinds of interpersonal situations whether they be a making business connection at a networking event, doing a presentation, or asking someone out on a date.
In intimidating situations, the “inner critic” part of our mind will often get involved and make us become overly concerned about how we look to the other person (or the audience). We worry about our physical appearance, how we're coming across, whether the other person(s) approve of us, etc. We become afraid of “getting it wrong.”
In this mindset we can overwhelm ourselves by scrutinizing every word and gesture we make. This takes us out of being present and creates awkwardness. We might also get the distracting sense of imposter syndrome.
All of this survival-based reactivity and head chatter can derail our efforts, whether that’s at work, at a social event, or while acting a scene.
Being free from overthinking and self-criticism in moments where we need to show up with full access to our skills, wisdom, judgement, and knowledge is critical to high performance.
While there are various ways to build this ability to be free from overthinking when we need to be at our best, I found that lessons drawn from the craft of acting to be quite useful. Actors need this ability much more than the average professional, so it’s useful to understand what actors find to be an effective method.
Steven Ditmyer's guidance on “not thinking” while acting:
Steven Ditmyer, one of my acting teachers, explains that the only thinking an actor should do occurs before the acting - when crafting the scene, and making choices on how to be (emotionally) during the scene.
When you're acting, he says you have to “LET GO - TRULY LET GO.”
To “let go” means to not work from the head, as good actors don't work from the head. They don't "think" from the head. Steven explains that good actors think from the body - their guts, their heart & soul...their instincts.
When you're acting (or interacting with people in personal or professional settings), the intellectual thinking part of your brain wants to be in control. So you think - and then in thinking, you become self-conscious. When you're self-conscious, your acting (or your authenticity in a real interaction) stops.
In order to be naturally present and flow with the interaction, you need to get away from self-doubting head chatter and follow your wisdom.
How? The moment the brain starts to come in, you can't just say to yourself "don't think negative thoughts” and expect that to do it, because then your focus goes to yourself. This is the kind of head thinking that can get in your way.
Thinking about how not to think is thinking. Instead, you have to do something to replace your brain thinking.
Put your focus on listening to the other person. Be 100% present and notice everything the other person is expressing and communicating - verbally and non-verbally.
Be tuned into your body, rather than your head. FEEL your focus on the other person, rather than thinking about it.
There are a variety of mindfulness techniques that train the ability to feel into your body. Explore and practice them. Doing this takes you out of your head, calms head chatter and reduces fear impulses.
When you are deeply focused on the other person and tuned into embodied awareness, you’ll have less capacity to be self-conscious. Your head-chatter interference will be quieted.
Your brain and nervous system won't like this at first, but with practice, you’ll get better and better at it. Practice focusing on being truly present, and letting go of thinking. Explore how being grounded and tuned into the body can create calmness and access to wisdom.
Getting out of your head is actually a simple pursuit. It’s not easy, but we can all learn it.
How would you apply this guidance to situations in your professional or personal life, where you need to get out of your head?